Letter from the ghost.

“It’s dawning soon. I’ll wake up forgetting yesterday. And continue to see blank for tomorrow. I’ll just feel how deep my breath is, how it fills up my lungs, and that the day would be kind. And that I will be kind.

Let’s dream. It’s better dark. That’s where you find light.”

/ghostbot

When we get old
We only dance in our heads
Reasons get tired
Dreams only on our beds 
Remember
This is the night
our hearts fight 

Remember it is tonight 
we dance through light 

(Give us a little bit more time)
(Give us a little bit more time)
When we get old
We only remember tonight

Observer of time
I traveled
Between happiness n sorrow
hope and hesitance
songs and thoughts
gathering and separation
Smiles and wrinkles
Life and death
Yesterday and today
I stay still.

8th August 2017

A minute later and we’re older now, I can’t stay awake.

…You think it’s a beautiful day outside, but you just feel like staying in. You start to find routines in life, while you look for chaos in order. You find less excuses in the things you have not done, and more reasons in doing them. You get misunderstood more as you spend less time explaining yourself. You spend less effort in making people like you, and more effort in liking people. You loved being in the center of the party before, but now you feel awkward in a group of more than five. You speak more to the few you like, and less to most you don’t. You are just not the same person anymore. You think about your old friends. You feel secure being alone, and abandon the need to seek sense of belonging from a tribe you don’t even like. You finally see that getting drunk at parties and realizing how much money you spent the next morning is indeed, stupid. You don’t need to cluster with “the cool people” to get social validation. You don’t even think they are cool anymore. You like to hangout with old people. You like to hangout with smart people. You like to be around people happier than you are. You like listening to stories instead of telling yours. You start going for healthchecks and get rudely shocked when your doctor tells you that your body is indeed not 18 anymore. You get many *** and bold marks on your medical reports and you don’t even know what’s that supposed to mean. You start to eat healthy grains, beans, seeds, greens, organic something.You may even turn Vegetarian. You start to consider Yoga or even Taichi. You spend time debating with your friends on your new found values. You start to drop them when they don’t share the same perspectives anymore. You meet new friends. You actually care more about the world and society. You start to understand the word “culture” , and see its importance over “money”. You choose ugly truth over beautiful lies. You question everything. You seek a spectrum of answers for the questions you ask. You still don’t like people preaching to you, especially their religion. You watch more documentaries. You want another tattoo that doesn’t mean anything. You don’t like loud music so much anymore. You appreciate silence. You forget how to smile. You are more emotional than rational than you would admit. You go crazy sometimes and start to consider possibility of a shrink. You are not ashamed about saying that you need help.You find reasons to laugh, and excuses to cry. You get sad more easily. You get happy over small little things.You want to be alone. You want to be with somebody. You want to be with somebody that you can be alone together. You want to be far away from any place. You want a home to go back to. You realized you are nobody. You realized that maybe you don’t want to or have to be somebody.

In this room
Every object comes to a standstill
sharing the same exact millisecond of inactivity
of unchanged
they come from different places
have one too many journey
bear a very different story
some sad
some happy
some hurtful
some forgotten
and they all met in this room
in this very moment
for this special occasion
We celebrate a complete standstill

“Don’t say that I will depart tomorrow –
even today I am still arriving.”

- Thich Nhat Hanh

When you find me, let me go.
And let me fall.
When I arrive at the bottom of the riverbed,
That’s where I find rest.

21 May 2015

Again.
I dreamt of fish out of water.

6th May 2015

/ I’m ghost /

“When night enters, I become weightless

When dawn comes, my feet drop back to the ground

Toes tapping to the rhythm of moving earth

waiting to ride through the night of fleeting clouds

Wind behind my back

I ignore the chime that calls my name

Tunes pulsating through my veins

I know my heart shall no longer be tamed

Red burns right down my neck

I smile as blue heals the flame

When night enters, I become weightless

When dawn comes, my feet drop back to the ground”